hello....is this thing on??

Imagine my surprise after 5 months of none writing and if I'm honest none thinking about writing when I stumbled 'pon my old blogging page. Now I don't suppose anyone is actually reading this page and if I'm honest that doesn't overly bother me anymore. In the past year or so of blogtacular (none) action I was admittedly rather jealous of the attention and praise lavished on other blogs and bloggers to whom I am rather close. My inactivity in general seems to have diminished these feelings somewhat, come to think of it most of my feelings have become diminished about a great many things. I have searched my feelings and there seems to be one that reoccurs quite frequently : anger. Thing is, I'm not actually angry about anything, I'm just rather annoyed. All I seem to do nowadays is sit in my room on the inter noodle. This in itself is probably not helping, purists amongst you might suggest a job, and you'd be right to, I'm penniless at the moment, however after reading my previous blog entries I cannot (repeat for dramatic emphasis) CANNOT go back to working in offices listening to non-speak. By this I mean middle management language, you know of what I speak. If only "they" payed graduates to sit and complain about the job market, cuz if they did, this time next week we'd be millionaires.

General wordys

The road extends bleakly into the distance, I can see nothing but cool hard black tarmac and the unending white lines of the road markings. Or at least i should be able to see them but im reading the paper. The speedometer ticks over to 80 mph but i pay little attention to it. im trying not to see the speed creeping higher and higher but i cant help but sneak a peak over the top of my newspaper. its like a cut in the roof of my mouth, i know i should leave it alone or take some kind of action to help it get better but i cant help but keep poking at it with my tongue. its only going to get worse. i look up from my newpaper and suddenly realise that the gentle country road i was so blindly speeding down is litttered with fallen trees, not branches but giant redwoods. "how did i not see those?" i wonder to myself, painfully aware of the fact that i had probably seen the blockages hours earlier, and had simply chosen to ignore them. the realisation dawns upon my at this point, it was a fact that i had overlooked when i first climbed in to the drivers seat, "you cant drive" my brain tells me, confirming that dread feeling in the pit of my stomach. "this is going to be tricky" i reply as my car roars helplessly towards the first tree...

problem solved

i cheered up. it helps. i found i was in serious danger of straying into dangerously melancholy emo mode and i have attributed my descent into a cloud of teenager-esqe self pity (im 23 for crying out loud) to the discovery of The Despair Squid (c) lurking in my room at uni. He was spraying his black ink of saddening around with reckless abandon, the recovering miroslav can back me up with this shit. However i discovered a few cups of booze juice can counter his watery evil. rejoice my friends he can be defeated!

its been two months since i blogged it up and i doubt very much that many people will actually be reading this, ive been cut off in terms of links to other blogs as im quite lazy and often forget to update, but here goes.

UPDATE

in keeping with various other blogs which i have read recently here is a small list of things that i could do with -

• some religion
• a loan (stupid brain making me not hand in my form)
• a cup of tea
• some food in my cupboards
• a shower
• more space in many different senses
• more bolloxs in order to do the things i want to do
• a reason to explain why im feeling a bit fed up

I have often thought about this and its linked i think to my above mentioned fed up-ness, i dont think im ever just happy to accept what ive got for very long, which is why i get very worried about the whole "being a real person" thing. If i look back to when i left college when i finished my a levels i did a year at work, then i went to uni for a year, then i went to work at a bar for a few months, then an office for a year and a half, then finally i went to uni properly, but every year at uni after a while i have wanted to leave and be a real person again. Or at least i think i do, i dont really think that i do its just that i have difficulty just focusing my mind on one thing for a sustained period of time. the only thing that im really much good at staying focused on for any real amount of time is girlfriends - 3 odd year relationships but then things go bandy, i just dont like settling for things, maybe its because i worry that ill be doing that one thing until i peg it. that worrries me. i find it very easy to remove myself from things like uni or work, that comes easy to me even though those decisions are rather important, i just cant dis-entangle myself from girls, whether i want to or not.

Im not sure when it happened but im quite positive that some of us missed a rather important meeting. Maybe we were in the pub i dont know. But one thing is sure, and that is that we missed it. At this meeting i would hazard a guess that we missed a great many decisions, chief of which being that it was decided that people dont live somewhere anymore. I gentle reader dont live in Birmingham, I am based in Birmingham. Yes my house is actually a base, so in future if i invite you round it was appear that we are 'touching bases'. This is just another in a very long line of things that piss me off. Like when it was decided that everyone under the age of about 19 had to dress like a smack head, i have no problems with the way smack heads dress due to the fact that they are indeed smack heads, not "rebelious" teenagers fighting the system - heres the thing - your not fighting back against anyone, your all the same. And your clothes i imagine are from topshop, now cut that stupid long bit out of your short hair, or grow the rest of it so you dont look quite as stupid.

This is not a bitter old "oooh in my day" post i just dont get it

well shock bleedin horror

'Mel Gibson yesterday apologised for his "despicable" remarks after a Los Angeles police officer claimed that the actor had shouted a barrage of anti-semitic abuse, including a claim that "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world". Gibson, 50, was arrested in the early hours of Friday after he was found driving his Lexus along the Pacific coast highway while allegedly drunk. A three-quarters-full bottle of tequila wrapped in a brown paper bag was found on the floor. The Australian star told the officer that he would regret arresting him and that he "owned Malibu". The report says: "Gibson blurted out a barrage of anti-semitic remarks about 'f**king Jews'. Gibson yelled out: 'The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.' Gibson then asked: 'Are you a Jew?'" - The Guardian.

really though, is anyone surprised?

oh and today at work someone actually used the this phrase (now please bear in mind this was said in a serious context) "at this place you'll find that time really is money"

well shitbox

Monkeys...pissing about?

The music industry was stunned yesterday as the Arctic Monkeys revealed their latest masterpiece, its all been a bit of a wind up. "Yeah we were pissing about like"droned the singing one. " We started it out as a bit of a joke like and then everyone started sayin we were sound" he continued "so we just thought we'd go along with it. We thought everyone would find us out like, especaially when we did that girls aloud cover, they're well sound. I wouldnt with the ginner though, would you?" The whining lead singer continued claiming that he "often just made it up as he went along"which goes a long way to explain the bands 'raw' sound. " i often just looked round for the first thing i could see, like a box of fags or some gravy and made everything rhyme like. Sound"





not really