problem solved

i cheered up. it helps. i found i was in serious danger of straying into dangerously melancholy emo mode and i have attributed my descent into a cloud of teenager-esqe self pity (im 23 for crying out loud) to the discovery of The Despair Squid (c) lurking in my room at uni. He was spraying his black ink of saddening around with reckless abandon, the recovering miroslav can back me up with this shit. However i discovered a few cups of booze juice can counter his watery evil. rejoice my friends he can be defeated!

its been two months since i blogged it up and i doubt very much that many people will actually be reading this, ive been cut off in terms of links to other blogs as im quite lazy and often forget to update, but here goes.

UPDATE

in keeping with various other blogs which i have read recently here is a small list of things that i could do with -

• some religion
• a loan (stupid brain making me not hand in my form)
• a cup of tea
• some food in my cupboards
• a shower
• more space in many different senses
• more bolloxs in order to do the things i want to do
• a reason to explain why im feeling a bit fed up

I have often thought about this and its linked i think to my above mentioned fed up-ness, i dont think im ever just happy to accept what ive got for very long, which is why i get very worried about the whole "being a real person" thing. If i look back to when i left college when i finished my a levels i did a year at work, then i went to uni for a year, then i went to work at a bar for a few months, then an office for a year and a half, then finally i went to uni properly, but every year at uni after a while i have wanted to leave and be a real person again. Or at least i think i do, i dont really think that i do its just that i have difficulty just focusing my mind on one thing for a sustained period of time. the only thing that im really much good at staying focused on for any real amount of time is girlfriends - 3 odd year relationships but then things go bandy, i just dont like settling for things, maybe its because i worry that ill be doing that one thing until i peg it. that worrries me. i find it very easy to remove myself from things like uni or work, that comes easy to me even though those decisions are rather important, i just cant dis-entangle myself from girls, whether i want to or not.

Im not sure when it happened but im quite positive that some of us missed a rather important meeting. Maybe we were in the pub i dont know. But one thing is sure, and that is that we missed it. At this meeting i would hazard a guess that we missed a great many decisions, chief of which being that it was decided that people dont live somewhere anymore. I gentle reader dont live in Birmingham, I am based in Birmingham. Yes my house is actually a base, so in future if i invite you round it was appear that we are 'touching bases'. This is just another in a very long line of things that piss me off. Like when it was decided that everyone under the age of about 19 had to dress like a smack head, i have no problems with the way smack heads dress due to the fact that they are indeed smack heads, not "rebelious" teenagers fighting the system - heres the thing - your not fighting back against anyone, your all the same. And your clothes i imagine are from topshop, now cut that stupid long bit out of your short hair, or grow the rest of it so you dont look quite as stupid.

This is not a bitter old "oooh in my day" post i just dont get it

well shock bleedin horror

'Mel Gibson yesterday apologised for his "despicable" remarks after a Los Angeles police officer claimed that the actor had shouted a barrage of anti-semitic abuse, including a claim that "the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world". Gibson, 50, was arrested in the early hours of Friday after he was found driving his Lexus along the Pacific coast highway while allegedly drunk. A three-quarters-full bottle of tequila wrapped in a brown paper bag was found on the floor. The Australian star told the officer that he would regret arresting him and that he "owned Malibu". The report says: "Gibson blurted out a barrage of anti-semitic remarks about 'f**king Jews'. Gibson yelled out: 'The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.' Gibson then asked: 'Are you a Jew?'" - The Guardian.

really though, is anyone surprised?

oh and today at work someone actually used the this phrase (now please bear in mind this was said in a serious context) "at this place you'll find that time really is money"

well shitbox

Monkeys...pissing about?

The music industry was stunned yesterday as the Arctic Monkeys revealed their latest masterpiece, its all been a bit of a wind up. "Yeah we were pissing about like"droned the singing one. " We started it out as a bit of a joke like and then everyone started sayin we were sound" he continued "so we just thought we'd go along with it. We thought everyone would find us out like, especaially when we did that girls aloud cover, they're well sound. I wouldnt with the ginner though, would you?" The whining lead singer continued claiming that he "often just made it up as he went along"which goes a long way to explain the bands 'raw' sound. " i often just looked round for the first thing i could see, like a box of fags or some gravy and made everything rhyme like. Sound"





not really

Ranty Rant

Its been a tiring week and a bit being back in the big scary world of working for The Man. The thing that Ive discovered however is that The Man is really rather rude.He doesnt care about manners or common courtesy, oh no sir. He's much more interested in answering his phone by simply saying his name in a manner in which suggests that he may defecate on your mom simply for having the minerals to ring him on his work specific mobile phone. Hes more interested in saying Ciao to people even though hes actually from Barnsley or some other little backwater town in the North of England.He's also more much interested in talking in half sentances for instance "Jimmy...thursday...yeah..." Is just one example of the kind of conversations often heard belowing around the office. So its safe to say that I dont like my job...I also dont like the fact that I'm only there for the money, it sits uncomfortably with me one my hour long bus journeys to and from work.Theres something unsettling about the fact that im sacrificing my summer for 7.50 an hour.

So if your unlucky enough to be on the end of a phone call from one particularly knackered phone monkey from Birmingham, take pity on me and please, for the sake of your children and for our lord and saviour JC himslef please dont say Ciao


*EDIT - ive just figured it out - im officially working for the cash machine - now i see what those talented lads from (insert small provincial town here) were talking about. Its shit this

I haven't got any money, have you?

Ok so id like to invite the brewer of leaves and the ghost of string to join me in making a band in which we make loads of songs much like that one what chris did before - a hard fi lite - if you will. As the full fat version have already proven you dont actually need a great deal of talent, apparently all you need is to be poor.Check. Although we are technically not 'working for the cash machine' i think itd fly. Names, song titles and jobs all warmly welcomed.

"i aint got no cash
i need to buy some hash
my thetons have given me a rash"....... etc.........

Zing

I'm here all week

Ive never found this blogging lark easy which maybe part of the reason i dont update it as often as you arty media types but i do try and update it when i can, not sure why i find it hard but sometimes the words dont come out like id like them to.Unlike Puck i cant write stuff out before hand, partly because i often cant read my own "handwriting" partly because if i wrote it out in hard copy i also worry id come across as being quite contrived - which obviously is a bad thing.

Its been a weird ol few days trying to adapt to being back in Brumshire - its quite odd living at home again but i think im finally getting used to it again, thanks in no small part to the rogues gallery of proles and fuckwits that myself and the Ghost of String (R.I.P.) encountered today on our job trawl which took us on our merry way to the Job Centre. There we were a little bit like hobbits, all back packs and cheery optimism about to embark on our journey into employmenthood only to be confronted by a mentalist of epic proportions, and by epic i mean EPIC.This dude made Jabba the Hut look a bit like the anorexic Olsen twin (for those that dont know shes a bit thin).Following our encounter with the fat lad a variatable army of scum poured into the Centre, who despite our general alround awesome status are more likely to be employed than me and the Stringmeister - and that is because we are people - individuals, self aware if you will. Although we are technically from Northfield, we are not of Northfield. And this friends is a very very good thing. More to come on this on a day when im less knackered - i imagine the Ghost can explain it better anywho.

In other news i have moved back to Birmingham properly now, so much like Puck i will soon have a new term time home at least - it was not quite as melancholy a moment as i was expecting when i left - it bothers me that i couldnt get sad about leaving my house in leicester. I blame Chris

world cuppery

its nearly ten years old but i defy anyone, anyone at all that says that this is not one of the finest minute and a halfs televisionscreenbox viewing

three words - come on sebastian!

http://www.absolutelyandy.com/tvadverts/3rywyrn73nhehwhfdnnr393jefwvwvwililillxuvuxluvlwie21i1il1il11/tango_ray_gardner2.wmv

Can you say self destructive?

It has been one of them weeks. In the name of cosmic reallignment i understand that every now and then things which could only be descirbed as "a bit shit" have to happen. However firstly events have to take an awesome turn for it all to make sense. Thus far this week i have sunbathed my self into oblivion, eaten my own body weight in bbq food (cooked on a bbq made with my own hands, which made me feel a bit like a dad), watched nigh on 8 games of football in 3 days, drank enough beer,vodka and red bull to tranqulise a small elephant and had argueably the best 7 days and nights of my two years at uni. On the other hand i gave myself a small break down/heart attack as a result of drinking a couple of cans of red devil, wanked the remainder of my money up the wall in week long money spunkathon and had a drunken,sweary bellow at my girlfriend outside a pub on the phone, which now may well result in our breaking up.

A now the circle is complete

variation on a theme

More proof that people from Iraq dont have souls

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/5037124.stm

Aren't Americans super?

Anywhoodle, i cant shake the idea of Karma at the minute (damn you earl) following my earlier post aboot that lad that acted like a raspberry and got himself smoked, in a kind of way - maybe it was Karma - sort of. I think its perfectly feasible. Which means we are fucked.Like proper fucked.Think aboot it - look at 'twitchy' on Big brother - i nearly shit myself with excitement when he came on my telly viewing screen, and i still laugh my tits off at his twitchy explosions. I dont mean to, im not doing it maliciously its just really really funny. Im not even gonna mentioned that 'Johns not mad' documentary thing but Puck knows. So then are we all gonna burn or is the cosmos more concerned with american kids pretending to be spastics?

answers on a posty card

Lordy, its back an that

Easy now

I had a tirade and everything all laid out with which to christen the new site, however this computer is a retard of epic proportions and has thusly ruined it for me....oooh i was cross...im not now though.

Ok now this is an edit...and i am going to hell, ive just sealed it quite spetacularly. I had a photo here of this lad acting like a twat, pretending to be an rtard. Funny i hear u say, and yes it was. Then i checked the website i got the photo from properly, turns out the kid died unexpectedly in 2002 when he was SHOT BY SHERIFFS.

im walking away from the computer now...still the photo was funny